~Don't need a pot of honey. I'd be grateful for a plateful. When I'm rumbly in my tumbly, then it's time to eat~ Winnie the Pooh
When I'm rumbly in my tumbly, it means it's time to poo. The rumbliness continues as I write this near the bathroom at home. After my colonoscopy this morning, I am now 100% confident about my exit only stance. There might have been a .01% chance of experimentation in that nether region before, but that option has been flushed down the toilet. Obviously, the elongated probe and the average endowment may be disproportional, but I still don't dig it. Next time, I will ask for more drugs and not because I'm an addict.
The farther it slithered up, the more I cramped, squirmed and moaned. My beloved proctologist directed me to perform multiple Cindy Crawford poses to improve the maneuverability because apparently, my colon is more curvaceous than the average one. This voluptuous colon of mine caused me great discomfort and at one point, I looked at my hand to see if the IV stopped dripping. The poking lasted a half an hour. Unfortunately, this is the most action I've had in a while.
Of course, after it happily ended, the nurse informed me that I could have requested more sedation. Tonight, I also came across an article that would have helped a buttload entitled "How to Relax Anal Sphincter in Preparing for a Colonoscopy." I plan to print this out for future reference as I asininely kept my sphincter pretty tight. Unless there's an alien invasion, I won't have to be anally probed for at least another 5 years. In the meantime, I'm excited to add fabulously sexy curvy colon to my future dating resume.
When I'm rumbly in my tumbly, it means it's time to poo. The rumbliness continues as I write this near the bathroom at home. After my colonoscopy this morning, I am now 100% confident about my exit only stance. There might have been a .01% chance of experimentation in that nether region before, but that option has been flushed down the toilet. Obviously, the elongated probe and the average endowment may be disproportional, but I still don't dig it. Next time, I will ask for more drugs and not because I'm an addict.
The farther it slithered up, the more I cramped, squirmed and moaned. My beloved proctologist directed me to perform multiple Cindy Crawford poses to improve the maneuverability because apparently, my colon is more curvaceous than the average one. This voluptuous colon of mine caused me great discomfort and at one point, I looked at my hand to see if the IV stopped dripping. The poking lasted a half an hour. Unfortunately, this is the most action I've had in a while.
Of course, after it happily ended, the nurse informed me that I could have requested more sedation. Tonight, I also came across an article that would have helped a buttload entitled "How to Relax Anal Sphincter in Preparing for a Colonoscopy." I plan to print this out for future reference as I asininely kept my sphincter pretty tight. Unless there's an alien invasion, I won't have to be anally probed for at least another 5 years. In the meantime, I'm excited to add fabulously sexy curvy colon to my future dating resume.
1 comment:
Plan to print this out for future reference as I asininely kept my sphincter pretty tight. Unless there's an alien invasion, I won't have to be anally probed for at least another 5 years.
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