~Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity~ Voltaire
We always start groups in treatment by checking in with our name, how we're feeling and then there's usually a random thoughtful question(s) on the white board that we need to answer about life and/or recovery. On Mondays, we usually talk about what we did over the weekend to support our recovery. Last Monday, I told the group how I had fun with friends after recovering from bronchitis. I mentioned how we went to NE Social and that we waited for a table at the bar and then overnight, I had my first using dream post inpatient treatment. The women were very concerned because most of them had relapsed once or multiple times while they were in using environments like bars and restaurants, parties, etc. I'm early in recovery, so I'm fully aware that I'm somewhat naive and probably overconfident, but I feel like I'm okay being in a using environment with my friends. I feel more accountable than if I were alone. I've been very open with everyone about my chemical dependency, so I would feel ashamed and guilty if I started using in front of them. They would be very disappointed and most likely would do everything possible to prevent me from using.
I have a passion for food. I love to cook, bake and learn about food. I don't have the classics sitting on my bookshelves. I have a collection of recipe books. One of my favorite things to do is try new restaurants and new foods. If I'm supposed to stay away from using environments, the choices are very limited to fast food places, IHOP, Denny's, Perkins, etc. I have absolutely nothing against those places. However, now that I'm old, going to restaurants are like events for me. It doesn't even have to be a very fancy place. I'm engaged to the whole experience; the friends, conversations, laughter, ambiance, smells, sounds, decor, menu, flavors, staff, etc. I love reading all the menu descriptions and hearing the server talk about the different options and specials. I get a high from food and since treatment, I'm more conscious about what giving my body to eat. I love talented chefs who are amazingly creative with their art. A couple creative restaurants that come to mind are 112 Eatery in Minneapolis and New Scenic Cafe along Lake Superior in Duluth. After a fully content belly, my geriatric self is ready to put on comfy clothes at home and either read, write, watch TV or a movie or sleep. That's my new idea of excitement during a fun sober weekend night.
However, the counselors as well as the other women challenged me to avoid using environments especially during early recovery. There's also an unwritten rule that we're supposed to stay away from those situations while in outpatient treatment. I didn't feel attacked because I knew they cared about me and were concerned. If I were to relapse, I feel that I would be more apt to do that alone. I live near Uptown and work Downtown. There are hundreds of bars, restaurants and liquor stores. I live in one big using environment. I don't need to go anywhere. After a good half an hour on the subject, I said that I would avoid restaurants that server alcohol to appease them even though, I knew that I wasn't going to stop going and deprive myself of good food and being with my friends. It's hard for me to let go of that lifestyle even if it's only temporary. I guess my old habit of telling people what they want to hear and then doing what I want is hard to break. I'm probably being cocky and hope these aren't my famous last words, but I feel like I'm strong enough not to relapse right now. I don't feel like I'm better than anyone in recovery, but so far I've been to NE Social, Erte, Anchor Fish & Chips, The Bulldog, Trattoria da Vinci, Barrio Tequila Bar and other restaurants that serve. I just ordered a Diet Coke, San Pellegrino, decaf coffee or other non-alcoholic beverages. I didn't feel a need to drink and I still had fun.
We always start groups in treatment by checking in with our name, how we're feeling and then there's usually a random thoughtful question(s) on the white board that we need to answer about life and/or recovery. On Mondays, we usually talk about what we did over the weekend to support our recovery. Last Monday, I told the group how I had fun with friends after recovering from bronchitis. I mentioned how we went to NE Social and that we waited for a table at the bar and then overnight, I had my first using dream post inpatient treatment. The women were very concerned because most of them had relapsed once or multiple times while they were in using environments like bars and restaurants, parties, etc. I'm early in recovery, so I'm fully aware that I'm somewhat naive and probably overconfident, but I feel like I'm okay being in a using environment with my friends. I feel more accountable than if I were alone. I've been very open with everyone about my chemical dependency, so I would feel ashamed and guilty if I started using in front of them. They would be very disappointed and most likely would do everything possible to prevent me from using.
I have a passion for food. I love to cook, bake and learn about food. I don't have the classics sitting on my bookshelves. I have a collection of recipe books. One of my favorite things to do is try new restaurants and new foods. If I'm supposed to stay away from using environments, the choices are very limited to fast food places, IHOP, Denny's, Perkins, etc. I have absolutely nothing against those places. However, now that I'm old, going to restaurants are like events for me. It doesn't even have to be a very fancy place. I'm engaged to the whole experience; the friends, conversations, laughter, ambiance, smells, sounds, decor, menu, flavors, staff, etc. I love reading all the menu descriptions and hearing the server talk about the different options and specials. I get a high from food and since treatment, I'm more conscious about what giving my body to eat. I love talented chefs who are amazingly creative with their art. A couple creative restaurants that come to mind are 112 Eatery in Minneapolis and New Scenic Cafe along Lake Superior in Duluth. After a fully content belly, my geriatric self is ready to put on comfy clothes at home and either read, write, watch TV or a movie or sleep. That's my new idea of excitement during a fun sober weekend night.
However, the counselors as well as the other women challenged me to avoid using environments especially during early recovery. There's also an unwritten rule that we're supposed to stay away from those situations while in outpatient treatment. I didn't feel attacked because I knew they cared about me and were concerned. If I were to relapse, I feel that I would be more apt to do that alone. I live near Uptown and work Downtown. There are hundreds of bars, restaurants and liquor stores. I live in one big using environment. I don't need to go anywhere. After a good half an hour on the subject, I said that I would avoid restaurants that server alcohol to appease them even though, I knew that I wasn't going to stop going and deprive myself of good food and being with my friends. It's hard for me to let go of that lifestyle even if it's only temporary. I guess my old habit of telling people what they want to hear and then doing what I want is hard to break. I'm probably being cocky and hope these aren't my famous last words, but I feel like I'm strong enough not to relapse right now. I don't feel like I'm better than anyone in recovery, but so far I've been to NE Social, Erte, Anchor Fish & Chips, The Bulldog, Trattoria da Vinci, Barrio Tequila Bar and other restaurants that serve. I just ordered a Diet Coke, San Pellegrino, decaf coffee or other non-alcoholic beverages. I didn't feel a need to drink and I still had fun.
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