~An individual Christian may see fit to give up all sorts of things for special reasons - marriage, or meat, or beer, or cinema; but the moment he starts saying the things are bad in themselves, or looking down his nose at other people who do use them, he has taken the wrong turning~ CS Lewis
Before the A-word, I was embarrassed about the D-Word, but I felt most ashamed about the C-Word. It was easier to admit that I was a soon-to-be divorcee, alcoholic and addict than to come out as a Christian. There's obviously more acceptance of divorced people nowadays, but alcoholics and druggies aren't highly regarded by society. Why did I feel more awkward and ashamed about being a Christian?
At a retreat Saturday morning on the topic of the Holy Spirit, I had the pleasure of sitting next to a 68-year-old woman who had gotten her first tattoo at age 67. She happened to be the head pastor's mother and I adored her. I felt a connection with her rebel spirit as I'm still trying to decide on my first tat. She had "I.B.T.J." inked on her right wrist from a Christian tattoo artist named Viper. It stands for "I belong to Jesus." Her son actually did a sermon on his mother's tat and proudly showed a picture of her and Viper. She said that her only regret was including the periods in the tat. I guess Viper had warned against that, but still, how cool is she?!
The ladies and me were chatting at our table and I told them how it was easy for me to tell people about all those other "shameful" things than to confess that I was a Christian. The tattooed grandmother asked me if I knew why and I can usually make something up, but in this case, I didn't have a clue. She was guided by the Spirit and told me that people in general have lower expectations for addicts and alcoholics and higher expectations for Christians. It made perfect sense as I had harshly judged and criticized Christians in the past more than I did anyone else. If someone said they were a Christian, I'd instantly pick them apart. How can you say, do, act, wear, appear or whatever if you say that you're a true Christian?
I judged Christians because I thought they were judging me. It was kind of a vicious cycle. It's not really considered that cool to be a Christian in this world and I realize that I feared being judged the same way that I had judged. However, I now revel in being the black sheep of God's family. I think of myself as the worst Christian, so then I don't have to worry about being better than anyone else. Most parents don't love their "problem" child any less than their other children. They just try to help them along as best they can. I believe that my Father is the same way.
Before the A-word, I was embarrassed about the D-Word, but I felt most ashamed about the C-Word. It was easier to admit that I was a soon-to-be divorcee, alcoholic and addict than to come out as a Christian. There's obviously more acceptance of divorced people nowadays, but alcoholics and druggies aren't highly regarded by society. Why did I feel more awkward and ashamed about being a Christian?
At a retreat Saturday morning on the topic of the Holy Spirit, I had the pleasure of sitting next to a 68-year-old woman who had gotten her first tattoo at age 67. She happened to be the head pastor's mother and I adored her. I felt a connection with her rebel spirit as I'm still trying to decide on my first tat. She had "I.B.T.J." inked on her right wrist from a Christian tattoo artist named Viper. It stands for "I belong to Jesus." Her son actually did a sermon on his mother's tat and proudly showed a picture of her and Viper. She said that her only regret was including the periods in the tat. I guess Viper had warned against that, but still, how cool is she?!
The ladies and me were chatting at our table and I told them how it was easy for me to tell people about all those other "shameful" things than to confess that I was a Christian. The tattooed grandmother asked me if I knew why and I can usually make something up, but in this case, I didn't have a clue. She was guided by the Spirit and told me that people in general have lower expectations for addicts and alcoholics and higher expectations for Christians. It made perfect sense as I had harshly judged and criticized Christians in the past more than I did anyone else. If someone said they were a Christian, I'd instantly pick them apart. How can you say, do, act, wear, appear or whatever if you say that you're a true Christian?
I judged Christians because I thought they were judging me. It was kind of a vicious cycle. It's not really considered that cool to be a Christian in this world and I realize that I feared being judged the same way that I had judged. However, I now revel in being the black sheep of God's family. I think of myself as the worst Christian, so then I don't have to worry about being better than anyone else. Most parents don't love their "problem" child any less than their other children. They just try to help them along as best they can. I believe that my Father is the same way.
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