~Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt~ Tom Gates
It's Sunday afternoon and winter finally took a break from being so cold. It heated up to a balmy 47 degrees in Minneapolis. The streets and sidewalks were flooded with sweating snow, so I put on my favorite black Hunter wellies and splashed around Lake Calhoun. The sun and blue sky illuminated over half of the lake while dark clouds blanketed the other half.
Specs of dark purples and pinks within the clouds added texture and beauty to the darkness. As I walked, I thought about the anger I possess towards some of my immediate family, but the anger sometimes masks the hurt and sadness. One of my many weaknesses is impatience, but I've decided not to rush through the grieving process even though I don't particularly like feeling angry and irritable. When these feelings surface, I have nerdy conversations with myself to understand why I'm feeling this way and ask what I can do to help myself. After I recognize and acknowledge these feelings, it seems to diffuse the situation and allows me to move forward. When I used to ignore and stuff them, they became overpowering and overwhelming. It feels vulnerable to be in pain, but I've discovered that there's beauty in pain, too.
As I come under the light, I know that I've been blessed with both negative and positive experiences in my life. Instead of ignoring and wasting those negatives of my past, I've slowly started to embrace these as opportunities and gifts. For me personally, I've uncovered the secret to lifelong peace, joy and love. It's a newly formed desire to give. I want to create something positive from experiences that I once despised and hated. I have a great opportunity and privilege to help and serve people who struggle with addition and abuse with empathy and compassion. It's an honor to meet people every day who hurt because I enjoy comforting them and letting them know that they're not alone.
It's Sunday afternoon and winter finally took a break from being so cold. It heated up to a balmy 47 degrees in Minneapolis. The streets and sidewalks were flooded with sweating snow, so I put on my favorite black Hunter wellies and splashed around Lake Calhoun. The sun and blue sky illuminated over half of the lake while dark clouds blanketed the other half.
Specs of dark purples and pinks within the clouds added texture and beauty to the darkness. As I walked, I thought about the anger I possess towards some of my immediate family, but the anger sometimes masks the hurt and sadness. One of my many weaknesses is impatience, but I've decided not to rush through the grieving process even though I don't particularly like feeling angry and irritable. When these feelings surface, I have nerdy conversations with myself to understand why I'm feeling this way and ask what I can do to help myself. After I recognize and acknowledge these feelings, it seems to diffuse the situation and allows me to move forward. When I used to ignore and stuff them, they became overpowering and overwhelming. It feels vulnerable to be in pain, but I've discovered that there's beauty in pain, too.
As I come under the light, I know that I've been blessed with both negative and positive experiences in my life. Instead of ignoring and wasting those negatives of my past, I've slowly started to embrace these as opportunities and gifts. For me personally, I've uncovered the secret to lifelong peace, joy and love. It's a newly formed desire to give. I want to create something positive from experiences that I once despised and hated. I have a great opportunity and privilege to help and serve people who struggle with addition and abuse with empathy and compassion. It's an honor to meet people every day who hurt because I enjoy comforting them and letting them know that they're not alone.
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