~The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped~ Cesare Pavese
One of my favorite plays is The Phantom of the Opera and one of my favorite scenes from that play is The Masquerade Ball. Last Thursday, during outpatient treatment, we talked about the different masks that we wear. As women, some of us are masters of faking it; from the bedroom to the boardroom. We make things happen sometimes under the most difficult and complicated circumstances.
In some ways, it's a gift because one of our primary responsibilities of course, is to raise families and take care of others. In the old days, it was a matter of survival because they didn't have time to talk about thoughts, feelings and experiences. Obviously, there wasn't resources and information available like we have today. I liked this handout that River Ridge provided us which categorized some of the masks that we wear.
The Masks We Wear
"The Mask of Victim"
As long as I wail about how helpless I am, well, I just don't have to take personal responsibility.
"The Mask of Silence"
If I speak out I might cause someone pain or discomfort. I might rock the boat; might actually have to take a stand or take some action.
"The Mask of Blindness"
I'll refuse to see the things that are not working in life and put a smile on that says everything is OK. Surely then, the problems will go away.
"The Mask of Coolness, Aloofness"
If I actually revealed my feelings. I would have to own them, experience them. Way too scary!
"The Mask of the Social Chameleon"
I want everyone to love me and approve of me; therefore, I shall be everything to everyone.
"The Mask of Busyness"
If I slow down, I might just have to face the fact that my life is out of whack.
"The Mask of Stuckness"
I really want to change, but I can't. I've tried and as hard as this place is, in truth, as long as I stay here, I am in my familiar comfort zone.
"The Mask of Morality and Judgment"
It is easier for me to see everyone else's flaws and shortcomings than to look at my own.
"The Mask of the Day-Dreamer"
I am a visionary, highly creative individual who thrives on planning extraordinary things for the future...but please, don't expect me to apply any of it to the here and now.
"The Mask of Self-Sacrifice"
The way I earn my worth in the world is determined by how good I am at shelving my own needs to provide for the needs of others.
"The Mask of Anger"
If I let others know that my anger is really just a defense, I might have to share my feelings.
I related to the first 7 listed, but could especially identify with the Social Chameleon and Busyness Masks.
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