~I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing~ Agatha Christie
My poor bootie. From the colonoscopy to 'rhoid treatments and now recently, burning my bum to a crisp. I've been finding sober ways to de-stress and comfort myself, so on a lunch break about a week ago, I walked the skyways of Minneapolis in desperate search of artificial UV rays as the winter gloom was getting to me. I hadn't gone fake baking in probably a couple years and after asking around various skyway businesses, I found a little hair salon with a tanning bed. I figured the bulbs might not be the best since it wasn't their specialty, so I said that I'd do the max time of 20 minutes. It would've been smart to start out doing half that time, but it didn't seem like enough relaxation and warmth. Plus, in Minnie, we like a good deal and $7 for 10 minutes just wasn't a good one.
I find that appropriate places to be nude outside of bathing are tanning, sleeping and massage therapy. My skin felt drenched in warmth and happiness while I soaked in fake rays and listened to music. However, I would pay for this contentment later that night when I could feel my hot skin radiating through my clothes. I felt chilled as all the heat was escaping my body, so I submerged my burnt, red blotchy skin in a lukewarm bath. I forget that Asian skin can get crispy, too, as it's currently hideously scaly and peels like tissue paper.
Another place I burnt myself was at my job last year. I definitely hit a bottom personally as well as professionally. I received feedback last Wednesday during my annual review and as expected, it stung. I went into the review determined not to give any excuses as I had prolonged my problems by being in denial about my disease, failing to ask for help and seeking the proper treatment. If I had done these things, I would've avoided many of the issues that I faced heading into last year. Because of the stigma of this disease, I probably didn't receive the same sympathy as someone with Stage IV cancer from some people, but overall, I feel that I've been treated very fairly.
Upon returning to work, I had immediately expressed gratitude to my team and took accountability for my actions. Some of them already knew, but I let everyone know at our team meeting that I had spent time in rehab. I expressed appreciation for their extra efforts while I was on medical leave. I also apologized for my absenteeism last year as well as disengagement due to my illness. I promised them that I was fully committed to being an active participant in all of the team's efforts this year. My manager told me that she was proud of me for honoring the team and I'm blessed that they've all been wonderfully helpful.
I'm also very grateful to still have a job especially in this economy. I'm looking forward to rebuilding my work life as well as all other areas of my life. I feel highly motivated and determined. I've found that tasks are a little easier now that I have a new brain that's not so preoccupied with unhealthy noise and distractions. It's awesome.
I find that appropriate places to be nude outside of bathing are tanning, sleeping and massage therapy. My skin felt drenched in warmth and happiness while I soaked in fake rays and listened to music. However, I would pay for this contentment later that night when I could feel my hot skin radiating through my clothes. I felt chilled as all the heat was escaping my body, so I submerged my burnt, red blotchy skin in a lukewarm bath. I forget that Asian skin can get crispy, too, as it's currently hideously scaly and peels like tissue paper.
Another place I burnt myself was at my job last year. I definitely hit a bottom personally as well as professionally. I received feedback last Wednesday during my annual review and as expected, it stung. I went into the review determined not to give any excuses as I had prolonged my problems by being in denial about my disease, failing to ask for help and seeking the proper treatment. If I had done these things, I would've avoided many of the issues that I faced heading into last year. Because of the stigma of this disease, I probably didn't receive the same sympathy as someone with Stage IV cancer from some people, but overall, I feel that I've been treated very fairly.
Upon returning to work, I had immediately expressed gratitude to my team and took accountability for my actions. Some of them already knew, but I let everyone know at our team meeting that I had spent time in rehab. I expressed appreciation for their extra efforts while I was on medical leave. I also apologized for my absenteeism last year as well as disengagement due to my illness. I promised them that I was fully committed to being an active participant in all of the team's efforts this year. My manager told me that she was proud of me for honoring the team and I'm blessed that they've all been wonderfully helpful.
I'm also very grateful to still have a job especially in this economy. I'm looking forward to rebuilding my work life as well as all other areas of my life. I feel highly motivated and determined. I've found that tasks are a little easier now that I have a new brain that's not so preoccupied with unhealthy noise and distractions. It's awesome.
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