~It is of practical value to learn to like yourself. Since you must spend so much time with yourself you might as well get some satisfaction out of the relationship~ Norman Vincent Peale
I was commenting to my girlfriend the other day at lunch that I've never seen so many hot guys than in the past few months. This conscious sober thing is kind of cool. Of course, it's helped that I've expanded my site seeing opportunities to include the gym, church and grocery stores. It's been nice to just look, but not touch. For the first time in my life, I'm content not having a significant other and I have let go of my desire for children which is a huge step for me. I'm not saying that I've counted it out, but I'm not actively seeking it or feeling depressed about it. I haven't included men or kids in any of my future goals during recent treatment assignments. I have a lot of plans and I've grown to appreciate my free time. I believe God gives some people the gift of marriage and some the gift of singleness. There are pros and cons to both. I feel lonely sometimes, but for me, lonely as a single person has been a thousand times better than when I was lonely and distressed in my marriage. I've discovered that alone doesn't always equate to loneliness.
On Tuesday night, I got together at a Thai place with my friends whom I consider to be like my bros. We talked for a few hours about everything from relationships and religion to weird body hair. It was probably one of the most fun and intimate conversations that I've ever had with these guys. It was cool to be able to offer a coherent opinion and remember things. I was able to support them on various issues and I owe that to my sobriety and improved health. I couldn't have helped my friends if I had been drunk and not fully present. I've missed a lot of opportunities to assist my friends in the past because my own life was in complete chaos. They've done so much for me, so I'm now grateful for the ability to reciprocate their love and generosity.
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