~I love the fast lane~ Eva Gabor
In a couple months, I'll be trading in fast-paced city life for up north country living. I told my therapist that night how I'm excited to drive a tractor around this summer. She bursted out laughing and called me Zsa Zsa as she couldn't picture me mowing the lawn. I learned that it was actually Eva who starred in Green Acres, but little does my therapist know, I'm nerdily competitive when it comes to winning the "nicest lawn in the neighborhood" award. I love doing yard work and getting dirty. In Minnie, we have a limited opportunity to be outside and a short growing season, so we have to take full advantage from May to October. I used to garden and landscape at my old house every year. Once the snow thawed, I was out planting flowers in pots and all around the yard. I find it incredibly relaxing and satisfying watching stuff grow and flourish.
I'll soon be house sitting for my best friend's family for a while. It's a beautiful country home with 4 bedrooms, 4 baths and a 4 car garage. A porch wraps around the house and leads to a screened in section to escape the onslaught of pesky mosquitoes. I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch like an old lady and writing while watching the sunset. It also overlooks a couple of ponds nearby and a farm across the street. My best friend's husband calls it Old McDonald's Farm to their toddler son's delight. It's on a corner lot with a variety of trees all around and lots of privacy on a few acres of land. I can't wait to lie in the grass and tan amongst the neighborhood frogs, birds, ducks, deer and other creatures.
I also started my final 6-week outpatient treatment program and was down to just one night a week on Wednesdays for a couple hours. The counselor who led this group also administered my chemical dependency assessment in November, so things had come full circle. There were 4 men and 1 woman in the group. Everyone was nice, but none of the guys were very attractive which was probably good as there would be no distractions. On break, one of them introduced himself and proceeded to tell me all about his successful businesses and this and that. I was like "can your penis be any smaller," but of course, I refrained from saying that out loud. He was a pudgy man with insecurity issues, but I had to give him credit for finding sobriety. We all have issues no matter how successful we think we are. Overall, I didn't feel the instant connection with group members that I had in previous treatment groups.
That night, we talked about slowing down while we established our newly sober lives. It was a good reminder because at times, treatment has felt like a holding pattern rather than a launching pad back to life. I felt selfish about focusing all this time on myself and less on others. I wanted to get back to my old life of being busy with friends, sports, work, etc. However, my counselor cautioned that if we become too distracted and overwhelmed prior to building a solid foundation, we were more vulnerable to relapse. I've found that early sobriety is very fragile and can easily be crushed quickly if not protected and carefully handled. I definitely didn't want to go back to rehab and risk losing everything again. She emphasized the importance of creating a lifestyle that supports sobriety and maintaining a firm commitment to healing before recklessly throttling back into the fast lane.
In a couple months, I'll be trading in fast-paced city life for up north country living. I told my therapist that night how I'm excited to drive a tractor around this summer. She bursted out laughing and called me Zsa Zsa as she couldn't picture me mowing the lawn. I learned that it was actually Eva who starred in Green Acres, but little does my therapist know, I'm nerdily competitive when it comes to winning the "nicest lawn in the neighborhood" award. I love doing yard work and getting dirty. In Minnie, we have a limited opportunity to be outside and a short growing season, so we have to take full advantage from May to October. I used to garden and landscape at my old house every year. Once the snow thawed, I was out planting flowers in pots and all around the yard. I find it incredibly relaxing and satisfying watching stuff grow and flourish.
I'll soon be house sitting for my best friend's family for a while. It's a beautiful country home with 4 bedrooms, 4 baths and a 4 car garage. A porch wraps around the house and leads to a screened in section to escape the onslaught of pesky mosquitoes. I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch like an old lady and writing while watching the sunset. It also overlooks a couple of ponds nearby and a farm across the street. My best friend's husband calls it Old McDonald's Farm to their toddler son's delight. It's on a corner lot with a variety of trees all around and lots of privacy on a few acres of land. I can't wait to lie in the grass and tan amongst the neighborhood frogs, birds, ducks, deer and other creatures.
I also started my final 6-week outpatient treatment program and was down to just one night a week on Wednesdays for a couple hours. The counselor who led this group also administered my chemical dependency assessment in November, so things had come full circle. There were 4 men and 1 woman in the group. Everyone was nice, but none of the guys were very attractive which was probably good as there would be no distractions. On break, one of them introduced himself and proceeded to tell me all about his successful businesses and this and that. I was like "can your penis be any smaller," but of course, I refrained from saying that out loud. He was a pudgy man with insecurity issues, but I had to give him credit for finding sobriety. We all have issues no matter how successful we think we are. Overall, I didn't feel the instant connection with group members that I had in previous treatment groups.
That night, we talked about slowing down while we established our newly sober lives. It was a good reminder because at times, treatment has felt like a holding pattern rather than a launching pad back to life. I felt selfish about focusing all this time on myself and less on others. I wanted to get back to my old life of being busy with friends, sports, work, etc. However, my counselor cautioned that if we become too distracted and overwhelmed prior to building a solid foundation, we were more vulnerable to relapse. I've found that early sobriety is very fragile and can easily be crushed quickly if not protected and carefully handled. I definitely didn't want to go back to rehab and risk losing everything again. She emphasized the importance of creating a lifestyle that supports sobriety and maintaining a firm commitment to healing before recklessly throttling back into the fast lane.
1 comment:
Many thanks.
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